Instead of “Contemplations of a Less Drama Queen”, today’s musing should be titled “Confessions of a Less Drama Queen.”
I miss you all. I haven’t been writing as often as I like. I offer you this confession:
We all go through new seasons of life every so often. As you well know, I like growing but I’m here to tell you that becoming a beginner is not for the faint-hearted. It’s not easy being a beginner. It’s hard work. It takes courage and determination. It uses up gallons of energy. It can be downright scary ~ just ask any five year old learning to ride a bike once the training wheels have been pulled off.
At age 45, I’m a beginner again ~ beginning my nursing career. It’s way hard and there are moments when I’m thrown for a loop. It sneaks up on me and wham - I’m overwhelmed. I knew when I committed myself to nursing that I had taken on quite a challenge. It’s been more than I expected from day 1 of nursing school (I almost quit 3 weeks into my pre-requisites). Please don’t get me wrong ~ I know I made the right choice and I love it (I feel blessed beyond measure to have a job and working for Adventist Health) ~ but at this point in my career it’s an uphill climb (think Half Dome). Some days I think that the learning curve is way too steep but then I come around the bend and see the view - whoa am I blown away by it’s spectacular-ness. I take a deep breath in and continue the journey.
I’m not gonna lie - the last month at work has been hard for me. Yep, I even started out my work day a couple of weeks ago with a big ol’ cry (probably hormone-induced but tearfully warranted all the same.) I can cry with the best of them. I think I’m okay with tears in the work place (life happens) but when I met with my life coach the other day, I decided I needed some coaching in regards to why my tears keep welling up. Long story short...Conclusion = I’m a beginner and being a beginner is hard (no one wants to fail), especially for those of us who haven’t been a beginner in a really long time.
I know from previous experience that whenever you start a new job, “spent” is the word that comes to mind on the commute home. I believe it’s because your brain is creating new neural pathways and the system is being taxed in new ways. It is almost like your brain hurts. Learning uses lots of brain power regardless of what the new thing is. I know I’m not alone in this. I’ve talked to a number of you lately and a lot of us are in a season of change or newness. So, I thought I would use this “confession” to share some of the insights I’ve had as I contemplate new beginnings:
Get lots of sleep. You’ll need it. Last Friday afternoon I laid down for a short nap and much to my surprise I woke up 3 hours later. Give yourself heaps of grace. Stick to the basics (do only what’s necessary). Make room for moments of sunshine. Take lots of deep breaths. Drink ice cold water every chance you get (think refreshing waterfalls flowing over you). Be patient with yourself and others. Fresh flowers bring smiles to your face. Sign the permission slip to let some things go. Remember that one day soon things will be back “to the regularly scheduled programming” but for now take some needed breaks from your rigorous go-go-go lifestyle. Call a friend ~ it is one of your life lines. Sit quietly at least once a day. Don’t forget that new beginnings bring new possibilities.
So, there you have it. I’m hoping to get back to my regularly scheduled programs soon and be contemplating more often.
Pouring out heaps of grace,
Cindy
