Wash the Blues Away with Pink and Orange!

"I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it's only a choice of attitude."
~ Anonymous.

I spent most of last week wanting one thing and getting another. Don't you just hate that? I wanted a grateful heart (I've got lots to be thankful for) but instead I kept indulging myself with a cranky, whiny spirit. It was pitiful.

The census at the hospital has been low (which is probably a good thing in the full scope of life: low census = less sick people) but for the staff it means we get called off from our regular shifts. I got my first of three calls last week Monday morning at 5:00am. Not a good way to start off the week. I "dedicated" five of my days to the hospital last week and got to work only two. Needless to say, that threw a wrench in my plans and my paycheck. I wanted to be thankful that I have a job that helps pay the bills and then some. I wanted to be grateful that I have a house over head and food on the table whether or not I get called off from work. There are people in my town that a day without work means no food in their kids' bellies. But no, I whined and complained about it to anyone who would listen. What do you do when you know that gratitude is a good thing but you can't quite get there?

As the week progressed, I thought about all the families that lost their loved ones ten years ago. I especially thought about my friend, Bob, who lost his dad in the north tower. His dad was there for a three day business trip. Words cannot express that kind of sadness. As the memories flooded every media outlet, my inward heart longed to be grateful, but crankiness continued to hold its reign. I ask you, how is that possible?

I'm usually a happy go-lucky kind of girl, so this way of being was really beginning to drag me down. A couple of you even commented on my debby downer Facebook posts wondering, "What's up?" Ungratefulness, entitlement, and complaining hung like dark clouds over my mood.

Thursday night, gratitude tried to peek out from the clouds. I told Brad how much I loved him and listed off a boat load of reasons why I thought we were a great match. Brad then shared this treasure with me, "My life would be impoverished without you, my Cindybelle!" My heart melted. Crankiness got pushed out to sea (at least for the night). But as quickly as it went out, the next day it came in with the tide. Who fights with their husband after he shares that kind of goodness? That's right, I do. I concluded my week with a big ol' fight with Brad. Oh my! No need to worry, it's resolved. We really are a good fit =)

Anyone who knows me, knows that this season of my life is stellar! So, why all this whining and complaining? Believe-you-me, I was asking myself that all week. I really have no good reason for it. I can't even blame it on hormones. It just was. Has this ever happened to you?

What do you do to pull yourself out from a funk? Do you have anything that works?

I had a session this morning with my wonderfully intuitive coach, Lisa Pasbjerg. She started our session with this question, "What are you celebrating?" I uttered, "the blahs." Instead of celebrations, I shared my whine list. She asked me, "What do you want from this session?". Inspiration please! She countered with "What's worked in the past?"

Here's the list = A day on the water, fresh flowers, wearing a fun outfit, listening to my favorite playlist, inspiration shared with a girlfriend, cool sun-shiny weather, time spent with God, and a good dose of side-splitting belly laughter with Bradford that brings tears to my eyes. Before I got off the phone with Lisa, I told her that I had started this morning out with creating a playlist titled, "Monday Morning Blues Picker Uppers". She chuckled. In need of a new perspective, I ended the call with a challenge for myself ~ Take off the "blues" and don some pink and orange, which just happen to be my happy colors.

Well, I studied my list. Some of the things on my "debunk the funk" list were not readily available. So I set out for a moment with God.

I went outside. It was only 77 degrees. (Sunshiny and cool enough)
I laid down in my hammock and began to sway back and forth.
I listened to a playlist that soothes my soul. I let the songs gently soak in. Psalm 61 came to mind. Hmm...I thought. I wonder what that has to say to me and my cranky self. I opened to Psalm 61 in my handy little app on my phone.

Here's what I read: A David Psalm...

God, listen to me shout, bend an ear to my prayer. When I'm far from anywhere (hello can you say, "I've lived there all week"), down to my last gasp, I call out, "Guide me up High Rock Mountain!" You've always given me breathing room, a place to get away from it all. A lifetime pass to your safe-house, an open invitation as your guest (just what I needed - imagine that). You've always taken me seriously, God, made me welcome among those who know and love you. Let the days of the queen of less drama (Cindy paraphrased) add up to years and years of good rule. Set her throne in the full light of God; post Steady Love and Good Faith as lookouts. And I'll be the poet who sings your glory and live what I sing every day.


Can you say, "Wow"? It immediately lifted my spirits. After a sweet while, I came inside. I painted my toes pink with a little orange daisy. I dressed myself in a light, airy orange blouse...and voila. The transformation had begun.


It came down to a matter of choice sprinkled with breathing room, stillness, and a little appointment with my maker. So in keeping with my "debunk the funk" list, I decided to share the gift of inspiration with my girlfriends. I hope this brings a little pick me up to your Monday.


Questions to Ponder:
What helps you get out of a funk?
What helps change your perspective?
How can you be patient and gentle with yourself when crankiness rules your world?


Donning a pink and orange heart,
Cindy

ahhh...to be truly known!

It's been a while since I last wrote. I've been a busy girl learning the ropes and becoming a competent registered nurse. I do love it, but please, don't worry that I'll be giving this up. You all are my passion. My vision for Less Drama Queens "gets me up in the morning" or should I say evening depending upon which day it is. Did I tell you I'm working night shift? Let's just say it's a bit of an adjustment and leave it at that.

Have I shared with you my dreams for Less Drama Queens? I know I've told some of you about them. I so look forward to the day when we have Less Drama Queen groups throughout the United States - small communities of girlfriends - coming together regularly. Intentional. Connecting. Growing together. Inspiring each other. Maximizing potential. Sharing life together. Supporting each other. Living free. Thriving. And most of all - Making Life Matter. There is more to this vision (a retreat center, conferences, books...) but that's it in a nutshell. Thank you for letting me share my heart with you. It's what I'm all about and what I've been contemplating lately - truly being known.

Who knows the real you? Do you have anyone in your life that you can just be yourself with? A girlfriend you don't have to put the guard up for? A girlfriend who knows the good, the bad, and the ugly and STILL loves you? I hope so. There's nothing like a friend who lets you just be in their presence. Over my 45 years, I've been blessed with an abundance of just those kind of friends. Thank you Ashley, Lauri, Lara, Kate, Kerstin, Susan, Wynter, Julie, Michelle, and Alisha.

To be truly known takes courage. It takes commitment to the process. It takes stepping out into the unknown. I've been facilitating small groups for the last 20 years. I've learned a few things about becoming known. It's a miracle to behold - that moment in which it happens. That moment when the bonds begin to take hold. It always takes someone who decides that vulnerability is worth it and who is willing to take the first step and put themselves out there. It's a scary moment for the one who steps out and shares a piece of their soul. It's actually breath-taking (for those who have done it, you know I'm not being overdramatic when I say that). I've been the one to step out and trust. It's not easy but I can tell you it's oh-so-worth it! The rewards are worth that moment of limbo - that moment of "in between" - when you share that piece of your heart and you wait for it to be received. "Did I share too much? Can they handle that? Should I have kept that to myself? Will they think I'm crazy?" You know the drill. I wonder how that many thoughts can run through one's head in that in-between moment. It's mind boggling, really.

I'm here to tell you that vulnerability is worth it every time. Even when it's not received. Being vulnerable means you are open. You are willing. You are available to be known. Being known is what connects us to each other. As women, it's especially important for us to connect. It's a big part of what we were created for.

I encourage you. I challenge you to be known in the circles you travel. Allow yourself the room to be vulnerable. Share yourself with others. Of course, be safe with whom you choose to share. But by all means, please share! You are a treasure - a gift to be given.

Be known,
Cindy

The Power of Girlfriends

I believe that we are all created treasures!
I believe that we all have something to give and something to receive.
I believe in growing.
I believe it’s okay to make mistakes.
I believe in the power of girlfriends.
I believe in making life matter!

Do you believe? Every time I have the opportunity to speak to communities of girlfriends, this is my message. These truths have been born out of my life experience. I hold them dear to my heart. They have become my calling.



What are the truths that you stand by? That you live out?

I believe as women, we are uniquely equipped to impart our wisdom and life experience onto the next generation of girlfriends. We talk, we process, we vent, we share life together. We are community. We are made for relationships ~ we love to connect. We make things happen. We thrive together!

One hundred years ago today...they believed in the power of girlfriends, too! In 1911, more than one million women and men attended International Women’s Day rallies campaigning for women's rights to work, vote, be trained, to hold public office and end discrimination. International Women’s Day is a global celebration of the economic, political, and social achievements of women past, present, and future. Today is the 100th anniversary of International Women’s Day ~ oh happy day!

This calls for a celebration! Call up a girlfriend. Celebrate a recent accomplishment. Share a glass of wine or a latte! Relish in the power of girlfriends.
You might even discuss how you can invest in the future of a young girl.

Please watch these two videos below that leave an impact in the life of a girl!

Making life matter one girl at a time,
Cindy

P.S. Happy “Phat” Tuesday!

the naked grape experience

The other day I was at the grocery store and I noticed this wine display. Imagine that?! You know that this girl loves pinot grigio but it wasn't the wine that actually caught my eye ((insert the surprised look on your face)). Plain and simple it was the Naked Grape.

"At The Naked Grape, we believe keeping it simple makes it great. We focus on what's important and strip away the rest. Start with the best grapes, don't over-think it, and let the bare essence of the fruit shine through." ~ The Naked Grape.

It was there in that moment that this contemplation was born. What if we were like The Naked Grape? No pretense. Out there for others to experience more fully. Naked (metaphorically speaking, please).

What if we were to keep it simple? Focus on what's important and strip away the rest. Start with the best (that's us, remember I believe that each and every one of us was created a treasure) and not over-think it. Let the bare essence of our self shine through.

What a difference that might make! I believe we would live closer to our truth. We would connect with others more freely. We could really be known on a deeper level. You know that freedom that washes over you when you are able to JUST BE yourself. Wouldn't it be grand if that was our norm? Our insecurities would no longer get the best of us. Our competitive natures could take a vacation. Our worry generators might actually go on the fritz. We could take off the masks that hide our true selves. We could just be. Wow - do you feel the freedom?

You ask where do we start? First of all, let me say that this "way of being in the world" is not something that will miraculously happen to us as the alarm goes off tomorrow morning. Our layers of "protection" were not built over night. Let's be frank, some of the walls we have in place were created to keep us emotionally safe. So, I trust you to know for yourself the pace at which you would like to set out on this journey of discovery.

I know some of you will be ready to dive into this exercise while others of you will need some time to work up to it. I do hope you will join us in our naked grape experience. I believe the rewards that await us are worth the trek. I've had a few "tastes" of living in splendidly safe vulnerability. It felt real. It felt good. I trust that our communities of girlfriends will benefit from the authenticity and openness that will come. I also know that it takes a few brave souls to invite this kind of "truly being known". Are you one of the brave?

I want us to become familiar with what's at our core. I want us to begin to live out of this space. What is your essence? I know ~ it's a flowery word ~ but let's just go with it for now.

Essence can be defined like this:

* the permanent as contrasted with the accidental element of being
* one that possesses or exhibits a quality in abundance as if in concentrated form
* the most significant element, quality, or aspect of a thing or person
* in or by its very nature : essentially, basically.

So, here begins our collective naked grape experience.

Let's get back to the basics. Who were we created to be in this world? What are the significant elements of our being? If we were to strip away all the layers of pretense, who would show up? I bet if you take some time to reflect on this ~ some words that describe your essence might bubble to the surface. I'm _________. I'm _________. I'm __________. You get to fill in the blanks. There are no wrong answers.

If you are having trouble getting to your essence, I want you to do this. Have a piece of paper and pencil ready. Then, I want you to call two or three trusted friends or family members (people that know the real you). I want you to ask them these two questions, "What shows up when I do? What qualities do I bring to a room?" If they ask you why, tell them that you are participating in the Less Drama Queen Naked Grape Experience. No, no, no ~ don't tell them that =) Tell them whatever makes the most sense to you. Remember to keep it simple. "What shows up when I do? What qualities do I bring to a room?" The words they share with you will probably give you a good sense of what your bare essence is.

Once, you have those five or six words that describe your essence, I want you to post them where you will see them as a reminder. If you'd like, write them on an index card and stick it in your wallet. If you dare, post them on your computer at work. I'm here to tell you that this is the easy part. Please don't shoot the messenger .

Now this is where it will take all the courage we can muster. Don't over-think it. Let us practice letting our bare essence shine through in our every day interactions. Let us be intentional in saying no to our insecurities. Let us turn off our worry generator. Let us invite our girlfriends to do the same. Begin where you feel safe. As we focus on what's important and let the "non-essential, not helpful, not necessary" be stripped away, I promise others will take notice. They will find it refreshing. They might even be willing to join us in our naked grape experience.

Instead of being passers-by, we will actually experience each other more fully. Yay for that.

Deep breaths!

Letting down the masks,
Cindy

beginner's luck ~ bah humbug!

Instead of “Contemplations of a Less Drama Queen”, today’s musing should be titled “Confessions of a Less Drama Queen.”

I miss you all. I haven’t been writing as often as I like. I offer you this confession:

We all go through new seasons of life every so often. As you well know, I like growing but I’m here to tell you that becoming a beginner is not for the faint-hearted. It’s not easy being a beginner. It’s hard work. It takes courage and determination. It uses up gallons of energy. It can be downright scary ~ just ask any five year old learning to ride a bike once the training wheels have been pulled off.

At age 45, I’m a beginner again ~ beginning my nursing career. It’s way hard and there are moments when I’m thrown for a loop. It sneaks up on me and wham - I’m overwhelmed. I knew when I committed myself to nursing that I had taken on quite a challenge. It’s been more than I expected from day 1 of nursing school (I almost quit 3 weeks into my pre-requisites). Please don’t get me wrong ~ I know I made the right choice and I love it (I feel blessed beyond measure to have a job and working for Adventist Health) ~ but at this point in my career it’s an uphill climb (think Half Dome). Some days I think that the learning curve is way too steep but then I come around the bend and see the view - whoa am I blown away by it’s spectacular-ness. I take a deep breath in and continue the journey.

I’m not gonna lie - the last month at work has been hard for me. Yep, I even started out my work day a couple of weeks ago with a big ol’ cry (probably hormone-induced but tearfully warranted all the same.) I can cry with the best of them. I think I’m okay with tears in the work place (life happens) but when I met with my life coach the other day, I decided I needed some coaching in regards to why my tears keep welling up. Long story short...Conclusion = I’m a beginner and being a beginner is hard (no one wants to fail), especially for those of us who haven’t been a beginner in a really long time.

I know from previous experience that whenever you start a new job, “spent” is the word that comes to mind on the commute home. I believe it’s because your brain is creating new neural pathways and the system is being taxed in new ways. It is almost like your brain hurts. Learning uses lots of brain power regardless of what the new thing is. I know I’m not alone in this. I’ve talked to a number of you lately and a lot of us are in a season of change or newness. So, I thought I would use this “confession” to share some of the insights I’ve had as I contemplate new beginnings:

Get lots of sleep. You’ll need it. Last Friday afternoon I laid down for a short nap and much to my surprise I woke up 3 hours later. Give yourself heaps of grace. Stick to the basics (do only what’s necessary). Make room for moments of sunshine. Take lots of deep breaths. Drink ice cold water every chance you get (think refreshing waterfalls flowing over you). Be patient with yourself and others. Fresh flowers bring smiles to your face. Sign the permission slip to let some things go. Remember that one day soon things will be back “to the regularly scheduled programming” but for now take some needed breaks from your rigorous go-go-go lifestyle. Call a friend ~ it is one of your life lines. Sit quietly at least once a day. Don’t forget that new beginnings bring new possibilities.

So, there you have it. I’m hoping to get back to my regularly scheduled programs soon and be contemplating more often.

Pouring out heaps of grace,
Cindy

can ashley come out and play?

As I sit here and write I’m thinking, “I can’t wait to play.” Brad and I have a play date planned as soon as this contemplation is written. When was the last time you went out to play? I’m talking seriously played. It’s my intention today to challenge us. I think as women in this 21st century we are all too often, a lot like Jack. Would you agree with me? All work and no play makes Jane a dull girl.

If you know me - you know that I LOVE to play. Call me a bit crazy but I believe it’s one of my callings in life. It’s my civic duty to help us play. I just sat through 40 hours of training this week (oh my!). Hence, the reason why I can’t wait to get out and play today ~ lol. In the training, one of the seasoned nurses said this, “If you work hard, you must play hard.” You can be rest assured that I took this simple piece of advice to heart and will try my best to fulfill it as I set out on this new endeavor. Do you hear your new challenge ladies? I know that each and every one of you work hard...so guess what that means? You're brilliant, you guessed it - PLAY HARD!

The subject of play - pure unadulterated play or the lack there of in the lives of our kids today has been a hot topic in the news lately. Who hasn’t heard of the tiger momma? As we contemplate, I’ll try really hard not to mount up on my soap box. I read an article recently in the New York Times (The Mess of Child's Play) that said exactly what I’ve been saying for the last 15 years professionally. Our kids aren’t getting enough playtime. They must play. Our kids must imagine. It’s essential to their health and growth. I believe that adults are no different and we have set a bad example. It’s not only our kids that must play - WE MUST PLAY. We must imagine. It really is essential to our health and our growth.

There you have it. I dare you to get out and play. I dare you to make a list of the things you like to play at. I challenge you to up your play time in 2011. Will you go out and play once a day, once a week, or once a month? All I’m asking is that you simply increase your play time. I know you’ll thank me. I’m here to tell you that giving your mind, body and soul some play time will actually increase your productivity at work.

Must play,
Cindy

she kept all these things and pondered them in her heart...

“Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.” So says Oscar Wilde.

My hope for us this holiday season is this: That we embrace the precious things that cannot be stolen from us. That we set our compass towards the “real riches” of the season and when we find these moments ~ let us relish in them.

I know that we all have our lists of things that must get done: “buy the turkey, bake the pies, clean the house, put up the lights, bring hostess gifts to a plethora of holiday soirees, trim the tree, clean the house again, buy presents, wrap presents, clean the house yet again, pick up grandma from the airport, get teacher gifts, write holiday cards ~ and the list goes on.” I want to challenge us to put together a different kind of “must get done” list this season.

It might look like this: “Give thanks for my family as we eat a yummy leftover turkey sandwich, share a fun little secret with a dear girlfriend over some hot chocolate, belt out Jingle Bells with our nieces and nephews as we drive down the interstate, stop for a moment in the hustle and bustle of shopping and watch the kids climb up on Santa’s lap, celebrate new beginnings with a glass of champagne on a midnight clear, sit down to a toasty fire and contemplate all that warms my heart...”. You get the idea. I dare us to be intentional this season and as we sit down to make our “keep us sane” to-do list, we would make the equally important (if not more important) list of “real riches” we want to partake in this season.

As you create your “real riches” list allow your senses to come alive. Remember to drink in the sights, sounds, and aromas of the season. Relish in simple family traditions. Embrace this season with the expectancy of a six year old. Let go of the need to have everything “just right”. Sit with what is really important to you. I’m guessing once we take a moment to still our minds - out of our heart the “real riches” list will flow.

Here’s some ideas from Less Drama’s magic moments holiday tips list:

Be intentional about the events you say “Yes” to this season.
Perform a random act of kindness each day this season.
Make a play-list of your favorite holiday tunes for your daily commute.
Have a “Christmas Card Writing” party with your girlfriends complete with festive holiday music and festive beverages.
Commit to staying home one night a week and be intentional about savoring the season.
Organize a spontaneous evening of car caroling with your girlfriends or family ~ if you dare, roll down the windows and share your joy with the city.
Keep a 5 minute-a-day Advent journal.
Craft your own Advent calendar complete with reminders of “real riches.”
Hang white lights around your flat or apartment.
Invite some friends over to watch Elf or The Grinch Who Stole Christmas.
Bake a plate of cookies for your neighbors or apartment building.
Go to bed 15 minutes earlier each weekday night (research says it makes a difference).
Write your “Real Riches” list on a index card and carry it with you as a reminder of all that can’t be stolen from you this holiday season.

I give thanks for you. I give thanks that these contemplations flow from my heart to yours. I look forward to sitting down and creating my own “real riches” list for the season ~ who knows it might become a yearly tradition.

Feeling extremely grateful,
Cindy