best friends forever

I found this sign in Carmel, California earlier this year. It stopped me in my tracks. I just had to take a picture and send it to you.

Do you have a girlfriend that you can trust with all your heart? I hope so. Mine is definitely a treasure!

She gets you. She knows you inside and out. She loves you. She listens when you've had a hard day. She keeps up with you no matter how much distance there is between the both of you. She believes in you. She has cried with you. She has belly-laughed with you. She's talked you down off the ledge. She celebrates you. Some friends come and go but she has always been there.

I dare you to send her some love this week. Please email her, phone her, send her flowers, or forward this message onto her - just send the love! Let her know how much she means to you.

Thank you for being my friend,
Cindy

taking care of me and YOU

Everywhere I go, there you are staring me in the face. Literally, you’ve been the topic lately. They’re all talking about you. Why are you so elusive? No matter how old we are or how educated we’ve become, we still can’t figure you out. We’ve been given the tools and resources to find you, yet we can’t grasp a hold of you. I’ve been trained to teach others about you - I know what’s important and my resume states that I might actually be an expert on wellness (physical, emotional and spiritual). Yet, when it comes to you I’m no different than any woman I know. My girlfriend, Monica, said it this way last night, “It must be a gender thing.”

Do you know who I’m talking about? We all know her. We catch glimpses of her. We get her. We know her worth. We all want to be her close friend, yet we don’t know how. Her name is self-care. Girlfriends, we are caregivers by nature and yet the one person in our life that doesn’t get the care she needs is our self. What’s up with that?

I’ve got some questions for you:

Have you denounced the wonder woman within you?
Do you get the sleep you need?
Do you have all the downtime you crave?
Do you take real vacations? I’m not talking about the ones where you go visit family - I’m talking about the real ones where you sit on the beach and read a good book until you’ve soaked up enough sun so you go lay in the hammock and take a nap. The kind where you don’t have to worry about laundry, meals, or time commitments.

Did you answer YES to all of those questions? If you did, I’m willing to bet you are in the minority and you need to clue us into the how of it. If you’re like me and the girlfriends I know - the wonder woman within us is alive and well or at least she’s giving it her best shot.

My girlfriend, Amanda, asked me this question recently, “How can we keep the treadmill of life at a steady enough pace to keep us productive but not at the insane “10” incline and “10” pace we have it set?” Good question, Amanda. Way back when, I learned an important life principle when I was waitressing at age 20 - “If you don’t know the answer, tell them you’ll go find out and get back to them.” This principle has served me well over the years. It works. So with that said, “Amanda, I’m on it. I don’t know the answer to that question but I’ll get back to you.”

I’ve started with asking my life coach, Lisa. We came up with 4 things I need to keep my pace sane this summer:
No rushing - this means don’t over-schedule.
Make sure I have needed “down time”.
If I got home late last night, make sure I have ample “morning time”.
If I’m on the road traveling heaps, make sure to schedule “home time”.

So far, it’s working out pretty good. I’m feeling fairly sane. I haven’t been perfect on the over scheduling, but I’m working on it. We just spent the week in Phoenix for family and business, so I’m making sure we stay home this week and next. Although I’m here to tell you my bent is to get back on the road and go to the coast with Brad for his birthday on Monday. It’s a good thing, I’ve enlisted Brad to help me with my self-care - he graciously said, “NO!”

I’m working on 2 girlfriend retreats for later this summer (a coastal weekend away complete with massages) that will address how to really take care of ourselves. If this is a topic that hits home with you, please join us. Email cindy@lessdrama.com for the details. If you can’t make Less Drama’s Summer Escape 2010, you could start by reading Cheryl Richardson’s, “The Art of Extreme Self Care.” I believe Cheryl’s the real expert on this topic.

Will you join me in learning the art and practice of self-care? Cheryl says this as an enticement, “The practice of Extreme Self-Care forces us to make choices and decisions that honor and reflect the true nature of our soul. While the notion of this might seem selfish or self-centered, doing so actually allows us to make our greatest contribution to the world...We naturally begin to care for others - our families, our friends and the world - in a healthier and more effective way.”

Learning and Practicing,
Cindy

School's Out for Summer

It didn't take us long on this earth to figure out that summer = freedom. We learned the anthem early on and can sing out loud in unison "schools out for summer". Sing with me, "schools out for summer." I see a couple of you adding your air guitars. Admit it =)

I have such fond memories - YMCA day camp, hiking in the white mountains and swimming in the lakes of New Hampshire (yes, I've swam in Golden Pond and hung out with "What about Bob?" on Lake Winnipesaukee), eating buckets and buckets of fresh peaches, gardening with my granddad and my dad wishing his kids would help him with his wally-world sized garden (that makes me giggle - it was ginormous), eating zucchini pancakes, zucchini bread and various other zucchini-laden foods because we had them coming out of our ears, teaching sailing lessons, camping along the Saco river, playing Skee-ball and Centipede at Weir's Beach, shopping for back-to-school clothes at Bon-Tons, eating Friendly's ice cream (a scoop of butter crunch with chocolate jimmies in a cup) and playing Marco Polo.

If you're like me that first year out of school when work didn't break for summer, a mild depression set in. What - no summer? No freedom from getting up early? Does anyone remember the 90's movie, "Reality Bites"? I think that says it all (although I'm feeling a bit old because I can't even remember one scene from it - yikes). Hopefully, you get my point.

Well school's out for summer and my plate seems fuller than ever. But one thing I've learned over the years is to adopt a care-free spirit for summer. It really does help. I cut down on my commitments - "don't you know school's out?". We eat light meals and play outside as the heat permits. We venture to new places and I journal. I've always journaled but never every day. So every couple of summers I choose to keep a summer journal and I write in it every day - don't worry they aren't long entries...I love to capture the moments when freedom arrives. Looking back over those summer journals and remembering what I learned even though school was technically out brings me joy.

Here's an excerpt from my "summer school" lessons last year:

Family is oh-so important to me. I don't like living so far away from family. When you're 93 years old, you've got some really interesting stories to tell and you can tell them any way you LIKE. I love my granddad. I love telling stories. Moms know interesting little details about their daughters (thanks Denise). 5 year olds are brave and undaunted and love making new friends (Cady, thank you for inspiring Aunt Cindy). "Ugly sisters" REALLY do stick together. Just BEING with girlfriends is life-giving. Best laid plans don't always work - but gratefulness always does. When you step on the brake and the hand control steps on the gas - the result is terrifying. Too many diets (money, food, friends) at one time can be draining (thanks Susan). Worrying about receiving God's provision takes away from the blessing of receiving it. Moms REALLY do love their daughters and they spend their whole being trying to prove that. Going to the lake is refreshing on all counts. 75 degrees is perfect. Concentrating on the good stuff and letting go of the bad stuff helps tremendously. Working hard produces results, sometimes you have to be patient and wait for them, though. When standing on new ground, remember your foundations. Resting in the truth is REALLY resting (the converse is true). The unexpected sometimes brings fun, unexpected surprises. Brad's family has become my family. Laughing with Brad really connects us. Cindy loves being at home.


I dare you to join me this summer. Will you adopt your own care-free spirit? Will you let go of your worries, throw on the flip-flops and set aside all that hinders you? Please leave your burdens at the back door of that metaphorical summer beach cottage. There's a basket there - they'll be well taken care of. Step out into the sand. Wiggle your toes. Be transformed. Find some kids and play Marco Polo (don't play with my niece, Victoria - she opens her eyes under water). Make a new play-list filled with songs about summer and take a road-trip with a pal. Turn the TV off, set the fans and the bug lights out on the porch and read a good chic-lit book or flip through the pages of your favorite magazines by lantern light. Invite friends over for homemade popsicles or splurge and go out for ice cream. Take a blanket out on the lawn and stargaze. You're never too old for a good game of hide and seek or sardines. CHOOSE to live free and don't forget to capture those moments - in pics, a journal or your fb status updates.

Choosing to be free,
Cindy

Powerful Questions to Ponder:
Describe freedom.
What's one step you could take towards freedom in the next week?
Define play.
Wanna come out and play?
Can you/Will you choose a care-free spirit this season?