Repeat after me ~ worry changes nothing. Let’s say it again ~ worry changes nothing. That’s right. I’ve known this principle for what seems like forever and yet I still find myself worrying. What’s up with that? I’m not even a worrier by nature. I once signed up for a worry retreat and my roommate knowing that I wasn’t a worrier questioned why? I said, “Well, I went on the anger retreat (which was the precursor to the worry retreat) not thinking I was angry. Let me tell you it was one of the most transforming experiences of my life (You should ask me about it some time). Needless to say I went on the worry retreat. That was at least 7 years ago - why am I still worrying???
Last week, I had something small (in the full scope of life) to worry my pretty little head about. The time I spent fretting wasted too many minutes of my life - maybe, perhaps a few hours in total. I needed to get my leadership rotation shifts scheduled for school and it was all dependent upon my nurse mentor and her schedule. I kept worrying because if I didn’t get them scheduled I could potentially not graduate in December. I knew they would get scheduled, yet in the mean time, I worried. I knew in my head that most things turn out okay in the long run, but as time ticked on and the shifts weren’t scheduled yet, I worked myself into a tizzy. It weighed on me. One night while I was taking a shower which should always be the one place where I have some breathing room and relaxation - it became a full blown frenzy. I kept telling myself - worry changes nothing. It didn’t seem to help. I kept pondering yet again (another word for worry in this particular case) how I might get those shifts scheduled. It was in that moment that I figured out why I worry ~ drum roll, please. I figured out that I some how THINK that if I ponder something LONG enough and hard enough - going through ALL the possible scenarios in my head ~ twisting and turning over EVERY possible combination I will stumble upon the solution. The problem was that the solution did not rest with me. I needed to let it go. For me, the solution came in releasing it to God ~ knowing I hadn’t come this far in nursing school and done so well to have someone else’s schedule hold me back. Guess what? I have my leadership rotation shifts scheduled. Surprise - Surprise. It all came together a couple of days later no thanks to my worrying. I have better things to do with my precious, limited time these days than to wile it away with worry over the small stuff.
I talk with girlfriends every day. Some one of us is always worrying about something. Worry often comes up in our Less Drama Queen coaching groups. I think it’s somehow built into our X-chromosome. I’ve been contemplating this thing called worry for a couple of weeks now. Of course, it’s not the first time I’ve pondered the topic.
Here’s what I’ve been thinking:
It’s what we do. We all worry. Some of us are more prone to it. Some of us only do it occasionally. Some of us thrive on it. It devours others of us. Some of us have done it for so long, we don’t even know when we are doing it again. We worry about small, inconsequential things and then we worry about important things and loved ones.
The next time we find ourselves worrying ~ I want us to stop and ask ourselves these questions:
What will worrying about this gain me?
Will my worrying change anything about this situation?
How much time am I willing to devote to worrying about this?
Is this worth my worrying?
Is this something important to worry about or something small and inconsequential?
Would you be willing to commit with me to let go of fretting over the inconsequential, small stuff of life? I’m thinking this might actually decrease a lot of our time spent worrying.
For the bigger stuff we worry about, I’m wondering if there isn’t a way to turn our worrying into a gift of love/care? I asked this question the other day. One of my Less Drama gals shared this insight she had learned long ago about grief, “When you are in the presence of tremendous grief, remember that you are also in the presence of powerful love.” Things that make you go hmm.
When we are worrying about our loved ones or something we care deeply about - couldn’t we say the same is true about our worry? We, too, are worrying because we love so much - we care so much. We, too, are in the presence of love. If you are like me the act of worrying drains energy. How would it change our perception of “worry” if we thought of it as a gift of love/care instead of a burden? Would it change how much it weighs upon us? Would we treat it differently? Would it have a different impact on our hearts and souls? Would it change what we did with those thoughts/concerns? I’m not sure on this one ~ I’m just putting it out there to see what you think about it? I’d love some dialogue.
So what will we do with our worry? Will we let it go? What’s our relationship with worry? Would we like to change how it effects us? What will we do with her? Will we send her packing when she gets us in a tizzy over the small stuff? Will we embrace her as a gift of love when it comes to the big stuff? Let me know your thoughts now that you have mine.
Finding rest today,
Cindy
P.S. A wise man once said, “Do not worry about tomorrow, for today has enough worries of its own.”
