I love to talk and write about the power of girlfriends. We have so much to give and receive from each other. You've heard me say, "Girlfriends rock".
Yet, there's a power our girlfriends hold that at times may have a negative impact upon us. It's something that we don't talk about often and on some level it's a factor that's been added to the mix by our culture.
A vital step in our growth process is the healing that comes along the way. In growth, we we get to be honest with ourselves. So today, I want to touch upon something I think we can all relate to - something that if we're honest, we've all been there and done that. I speak from experience.
SOMETIMES women compare and compete with each other. I'm sure we could agree that comparing and competing leaves us with feelings of angst. We feel like the odd girl out. We don't fit in. We feel less than and lacking (just plain inadequate)...I'm not pretty enough. Smart enough. Confident enough. Old enough. Young enough. Skinny enough. Bold enough. Spiritual enough. Out-going enough. Friendly enough. I don't have enough money. I don't have the right clothes. I don't have this...I don't have that. She's got a boyfriend...I don't. She's got a husband and kids, how come I don't? She's single, foot-loose and fancy-free...I'm not. You've got the idea.
I realize that's a bit extreme and maybe even exaggerated but I need to make my point. I need to call the darkness into the light. It's the darkness that lives deep within the crevices of our hearts. It was put there way back when. If it didn't happen on the jungle gym in preschool or the playgrounds of elementary school, then it definitely got planted there in the hallways of middle school. It's yuck. It's what each of us as women carry around with us, some own a little of that darkness, others have stock in it. Most of us thought we threw away the combination to the locker that holds this ugliness in jr. high.
I think each of us still carries it with us to varying degrees. Some of us, "let" it out in large crowds of women, others might notice it amongst best friends. All I know is it's time to talk about it. It's time to admit it, renounce it, release it and be healed. It's time to support each other and help each other live in the truth. With all the self-work I've done, I would have thought that this part of me got healed. Yet, upon careful examination, I've realized that these wounds that have their root in my neighborhood of girlfriends growing up are still there and show their "less than" head in certain situations amongst women. I must gratefully say that I have an incredible group of girlfriends that reinforce the truth that I am a treasure and I have something to give. But yet, I've noticed every so often I sense that "less than" feeling. I don't like it. It goes against who I am and what I value. Yet, it's there. So I'm calling it into the light. I dare you to join me in calling out this feeling within us.
It's something we all do. Let's dare to begin a journey as women united together to stamp out this thing we'll call "less than". I use to be the director of a transitional house of women in recovery from substance abuse and homelessness. Most of you have heard that the first step to recovery is to admit that we are powerless over the problem. Take this week and become aware. Dare to admit we have a problem. Choose to talk about it with safe girlfriends or just take note of if and when you feel this way.
If you want to join my new cause (stamping out feelings of less than), email me or if you dare, post this to facebook (there's a button below). Let me know what you think. I love receiving feedback. I'd love to hear from you and join forces - who knows where this cause will take us. It's not something we can heal overnight. I will continue to speak about the incredible value of girlfriends and you can bet at my next workshop, I'll be addressing this topic.
Learning to live in the light,
Cindy
