A Life That Matters

Living a life that matters is fundamental for me. It's what I do. It's been my life's work thus far. I help others live a life that matters. When I think about what's important to me - it's just that. I've never really stated it this way before today but it's true. Looking back over the past 15 years, whether I was teaching my kids at St. James UMC about oreo cookies and being the light in the darkness, or I was fighting for the truth in the life of one of my drug-addicted homeless friends in San Francisco - the message has been the same - live a life that matters.

As I ponder resolutions and intentions for the New Year, it is my hope that you will make your life matter. Make it matter to you. Make it matter to me. Make it matter to your family, your friends, your community - shoot, let's make it matter to the world, too. I'm not just saying this, "I mean it!" I believe it's my job on this earth (i.e. my purpose) to help us discover the life that matters and what's even more important than that - helping us find ways to live that life! This job fulfills me - coincidentally, it makes my life matter. Isn't it funny how that works?

So, as you think about your intentions for 2010 - think about what matters to you. Let that inform your dreams, your goals, and your actions.


Once we discover the life that matters to us, it's important to live it. It's in this that we become free. It's in living the life that matters that we live out our purpose. It's where we thrive.

What matters to me:
Growing
Speaking the truth
Being authentic
Being engaged and present
Having fun
Loving well
Being loved
Nurturing others

That's it in a nutshell - pure and simple. When I'm intentional about living the life that matters to me - these elements are present. When I live in this space, life is abundant.

So, what matters to you? How will it inform your New Year's intentions? Email me and let me know what matters to you - cindy@lessdrama.com

Looking Forward,
Cindy

P.S.
If you believe one of your friends would benefit from this Truth or Dare, please feel free to forward it to them by clicking on the email button. Please always feel free to post this on Twitter or Facebook.

Merry Days!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

A Verry Merry 3 Minutes of Cheer

Tis the season to spread cheer. Please take the next few minutes and enjoy!

http://tiny.cc/verymerry

It's simple: I dare you to share a little cheer with someone dear today.

Cheers,
Cindy

Have you ever been lost?

So many thoughts are running through my mind as I write you today.

Last night, I headed south for a business women's networking event and as I drove I listened to a personal interview with Seth Godin, marketing guru extraordinaire. For those of you haven't heard of Seth, he blogs on marketing, respect, and the ways ideas spread. He's insightful and authentic. In the interview, he said that he writes about the things he notices. I immediately thought of you all because that's usually how I come up with our weekly Truth or Dares. I write on what I notice. I'm always on the look out for something that inspires me. This week, inspiration was a bit slow in coming. In case you hadn't noticed, it's Friday already =)

So, I'm at the networking event and *POW* - it arrived - a seemingly unusual message jumped off the page of a catalog. Immediately, I knew it was for us.

"We are never so lost that angels can't find us".

As I sat down to write this morning, my mind was blank. How could I incorporate this message? Nothing was coming, how frustrating is that? When my mind is empty of inspiration, one of the places I turn to is dictionary.com (I know, you're thinking word geek).

Lost (lawst, lost) - adjective
having gone astray or missed the way; bewildered as to place, direction, etc. : lost children.

Angel (eyn-juhl) - noun
a messenger of God

Still nothing. Then, I asked Brad for help. He started firing questions at me.

What are angels? Messengers of God.
What's their message? Their message is often, "Fear not." They send us messages of hope, truth, protection, care, guidance, and future well-being.
Have you ever been lost? Yes.
How did you feel? unhinged, disconnected, alone, scared, confused, frustrated, panicked, unsettled.

It's so comforting to know that we are never so lost that angels can't find us. In this season of hustle and bustle, they can find us and usher us into the wonder. In our business affairs, they can find us and provide direction, hope and guidance for the future. In our relationships, they can find us and promote love, forgiveness and care.

So, the next time you are feeling lost, literally or figuratively, I dare you to rest in the knowledge that the angels will come and they will bring messages of deliverance.

Peace and Joy,
Cindy

P.S. I wish you all very Merry days! This is priceless:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKk9rv2hUfA

Looking for Wonder?

For too many, the holiday season can be a time of stress, loneliness, obligation and/or harried-ness (if that’s even a word). I’m hoping for something more this season for each and every one of us. We don’t always have the power to change our circumstance, but I do believe with all my heart that we have the opportunity to frame our perspective. We can choose to be on the lookout for our own magic moments. I think it’s important to take a moment on the front-end and set our compass for this season.

I dare you to take 15 minutes out of your already hectic, multi-tasking day and decide what will be your “true north” this season. What feelings will you let guide you this season? What value will you set as a must-have? Will you let your “shoulds” trump your “desires”? What will you say “yes” to and conversely what will you need to say “no” to? What can you do to take care of yourself in the midst of the hustle and bustle? I dare you to be intentional and decide now what you need to experience the wonder and magic of this season.

Here’s some fun ideas from my girlfriends to spruce up your holiday:

*Devote one night each week to cherish the season with friends or family.

*Take a moment out of the hustle and bustle and take a seat on a mall bench to sip a cup of hot chocolate and watch the joy pour out of a young child on Santa’s lap.

*Choose a simple way you could give of yourself to someone less fortunate…who will you ask to join you in this cause?

*Host a Christmas card writing party for your closest girlfriends.

*Go car-caroling (grab your family/friends and roll down the windows – sing out into the night and spread cheer throughout your neighborhood – lol).

*Host a spontaneous holiday movie night (Elf, Miracle on 34^th Street, It’s a Wonderful Life, Rudolph, The Grinch Who Stole Christmas…).

*Light candles and say a prayer of hope.

*Make a holiday playlist for your workouts.

I want to hear about your magic moments you find along the way. Please post your experiences, ideas and plans for a “Less Drama, More Wonder” Season.

Looking for the Wonder…Cindy

indy

It's been proven...Dreams are not impossible!

Wise words shared by some wise women (Denise and Alisha) in my life this week...
"You can get through a difficult situation, if it's the right thing to do."
"Breaking through is hard. Hoping for something more, something better and working like crazy in that direction...it doesn't come easy, going after something better."

3 tests in one day, 5 hours of "busy work" homework, one presentation, clients, a welcomed-out-of-town guest, and an 18 page researched care-plan due plus life...that's what was on my plate this past week. I cite this list, not for pity's sake, but as a reminder to myself to keep perspective.

I was feeling a bit overwhelmed last Thursday when I had 2 conversations that put my perspective back in place. These conversations with dear people (that are having some real life challenges thrown their way) made my heart take a step back and decide to leave it's woe-is-me moments behind and choose gratefulness. It is the season.

I'm thankful to be at the end of my second semester of nursing school - with only 2 semesters left. I'm thankful to own a business that gives meaning to life and has great potential. I'm thankful to have a super, supportive husband and family...and I can't forget to be thankful for my oh-so-amazing rock-star girlfriends. I'm so grateful!

This article posted by one of my girls on facebook really gave me a grateful heart and a new perspective (not to mention brought tears to my eyes). "WOW", this woman gives new meaning to triumph.

www.tiny.cc/triumphantdreamer

What dreams do you have that seem impossible? That's not a rhetorical question. I dare you to take a moment to answer it.

As the author says, "Any time anyone tells you that a dream is impossible, any time you're discouraged by impossible challenges, just mutter this mantra: Tererai Trent." Thank you Tererai Trent for giving us perspective. Thank you for giving us hope.

Grateful,
Cindy

P.S. I couldn't resist this picture of Thanksgiving. Everyone loves Big Bird, right?



cindy@lessdrama.com
www.lessdramaqueens.com

Do we get what we ask for?

What little girl doesn't want a pony? I know I did. After reading books like the Black Stallion and Misty of Chincoteague in 3rd grade, I longed for a pony. Guess what? My parents didn't have the money to buy me a pony and there weren't really any stables close to my home in Miami, so I settled for toy horses. In retrospect, they are so much work anyway =) I know my friends, Brittanie and Alley can attest to that =)

Here's a short commercial I'd love for you to watch (please forgive me in advance for supporting the cause of "the Man" by passing along one of his advertisements):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qb0vquRcys

It's classic. That little girl didn't even know she could ask for the real deal. Are you asking for the real deal? Are you asking for what you want? Sometimes, I wonder if I know what I really want. Sometimes, I know and I just don't ask. Sometimes we need to take a step back and get some perspective. I dare us to just that. Take a moment and ask yourself:

What do I really want? Am I asking for it? Am I willing and ready to ask for the real deal?

Pondering,
Cindy


cindy@lessdrama.com
www.lessdramaqueens.com

The Power of Girlfriends - Who's in Your Room?

I love when one of you sends me an idea for our Truth or Dare. Kate sent me this one a couple of weeks ago. Thanks Kate!

This will be a fun little exercise to highlight the power of girlfriends...
I'm gonna ask you to tell the truth.

So the "truth" this week is to choose 12 women (who have touched your life). They don't need to be in the same town or even the same country. Take some time to ponder who you would ask to join you if given the opportunity and then jot down their names on a piece of paper.

Think on this: If this unique and special group of women were ever to be in one room together, there is nothing that would be impossible. Imagine the possibilities. What would you do? What problem would you like to solve? What gift to the community could you envision? The opportunities would be endless.

Here's the quote that was attached to the email Kate sent. I liked it, so I included it.

"May today there be peace within you. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us."

Who did you choose? Do you want to let them know they were chosen? If so, I dare you to forward this onto them with a little note of thanks and wonder.

Yours,
Cindy

P.S. Kate - you are definitely one of my 12 =)


cindy@lessdrama.com
www.lessdramaqueens.com

Rx = Laughter

I just got off the phone with one of my best girlfriends. It was so good for the soul - we got to LOL (not quite "my side hurts" kind of laughter but definitely the tears were flowing-belly laugh kind). I needed that. I think we both did.

Earlier this week, I read a great blog on the benefits of laughter (physically, spiritually, and emotionally). I dare you to take time to read this fun blog entry:

www.tiny.cc/bellylaughs



I double dare you to be on the lookout for some belly laugh moments this weekend. Laughter is such good medicine for whatever ails us.
I'm so thankful that my family laughs well together =)

On the lookout for laughter,
Cindy

What's on your happy list?

More time, more joy. Want some? What's on your happy list? What can make you feel happier and takes less than 30 minutes? Please take 3 minutes to read this article:

www.tiny.cc/happylist

It's simple. I dare you to do one of these things on the list this week and report back to me via email - did it work?

I double dare you to come up with your own happy list of 3 simple things that energize you or give you joy that don't cost more than $5 or take more than 30 minutes to do. If you're up for it, send me your "happy list". I'd love to compile "our" happy list and post it.

First thing on my list is picking fresh flowers:

Building a happy list,
Cindy

Inside OUT!

Simply daring you to remember...It's what's on the inside that counts!

This 1 minute video makes an impression:
http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com/home_films_evolution_v2.swf

Enjoy these beauty tips from humorist Sam Levenson
(they were a favorite of Audrey Hepburn and she often quoted them):
For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.

For poise, walk with the knowledge you'll never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed; Never throw out anybody.

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.

As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she knows.

And the beauty of a woman, with passing years only grows!

You are a treasure!

Behold your beauty,
Cindy

cindy@lessdrama.com
www.lessdramaqueens.com

Put "fun" on your to-do list today!

I don't know if you're like me, but when I hear the words "stress reduction" my ears perk up. Stress reduction - I ask you, "Who doesn't need that in their life???" I know I do. I read about a stress reduction technique that coaches often use in my nursing text today.

After getting off the telephone with one of my clients, I was doing some homework and came across these words. They struck a chord with me because my client had just been asking me if she was taking on too much and as every good life coach is taught, I answered her question with a question. "Of all that you are doing, what gives you life?"

So, here's what I read:

"The next step is restructuring and setting priorities, which involves shifting the balance from stress-producing to stress-reducing activities. A recent study indicated that the daily occurrence of pleasant events had a positive effect on the immune system. In fact, adding pleasurable events has more benefit than simply reducing stressful or negative ones (CBS Health Watch, 2000).

Essentially, learn to replace time-consuming chores that are not really necessary with activities that are pleasurable or interesting. Making time for recreation is as essential for healthy living as is paying bills or shopping for groceries."

Did you read that? I'll say it again for effect, "Making time for fun is as important for healthy living as paying bills and shopping for groceries." The daily occurrence of pleasant events has a positive effect on our immune system. Wow - that's good news for those of us who love to have fun and want to live healthy lives, don't you think?

I dare you to make time for fun this week! Put it on your to-do list if you're all about healthy living.

Planning for fun,
Cindy



P.S. I can't believe I'm quoting my textbooks - what has my world come to?

Varcarolis, Elizabeth M., Verna Benner Carson, and Nancy Shoemaker. Foundations of Psychiatric Mental Health Nursing A Clinical Approach. Philadelphia: Saunders, 2006. Print.

Take a little picnic away...

So, it's been a crazy busy week here in my little world. So many men...so little time (just kidding - do you remember that song from the 80's?). It's actually a case of so much to do...so little time.

Conversely, last Wednesday, Brad and I had the opportunity to drive up to King's Canyon and had a day in the mountains...a day sitting by the river. Can you hear the late summer not-so-in-a-rush water flowing over the rocks? Can you see the sun peaking out from behind the clouds forming over the mountain? Can feel the breeze gently chilling you as it passes by? Ahhh...how it soothes the soul. I got to take a long walk by myself. It reminded me of my high school days in New Hampshire. I would come home from school and take little hikes through the woods or meander down our secluded road...some days it would even be snowing. Oh, how I loved those walks. It was my way of getting away from it all. I walked, I dreamed, I contemplated, I processed. It was good.

Brad and I love to take day trips to the mountains or the coast. We love to cast ourselves into nature. If you're like us, funds are a bit tight right now but all it costs us for a day away is the gas to get there and back. Our little "picnics" away from it all allow us to dream and contemplate. It never fails on our drives to and fro (I've started bringing a hand-held recorder to capture these moments) - We dream. We create. We brainstorm. Good stuff happens. Visions are planted. New ways of thinking emerge. Energy flows.

The creative juices flow when we take the time to get away. I dare you to step away from the desk, the email, the cell phone, facebook, the rat race...I dare you to step away from it all every so often - be intentional. Get away for the day or even just for lunch - just make sure you take time to "get away". Let it flow...all that stuff that stays trapped on the treadmill of life. I dare you to plan your little picnic away. I dare you to put it on your calendar today.

Contemplating and implementing our brainstorms on our day away,
Cindy

P.S. I met this cat on facebook. He's a cat that's not daunted by stereo-types. He's sees what he wants and goes for it. I dare us to do the same.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UTdhK0lwuw

Chocolate is good for the heart...

I am almost positive that chocolate is good for you and your heart. "They" tell me dark chocolate's got anti-oxidants and those are good for you, right? Because I'm a girl who LOVES chocolate, I'm all over that kind of talk/research. It does my heart good.

Here's some of my own anecdotal evidence: The other day I was indulging in a piece of Dove dark chocolate and I got this little message in the wrapping - Dove calls it a promise message. The message said, "You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore." That's deep (pun intended). It might even be profound if it helps just one of us discover our "new ocean".

Are you on the journey of discovery? Do you have the courage to lose sight of the shore? I dare you to join me in setting sail. I dare you to give it some thought. Get out your binoculars. I dare you to put your sails up and see where the winds will take you. What do you need to leave on shore? What thoughts aren't invited for the sail? What ocean are you exploring?

Out discovering,

Cindy

What's on your list?

I have this special friend named Cindy Mitchell. That was my maiden name not too long ago. I think it's cool to know someone with your own name. Call me silly that way.

Cindy Mitchell's son, Robert, has inspired me this week. He's baking 21 desserts to share with others (you should have seen the pile of 149 yummy chocolate chip cookies - the picture made my mouth water). Robert Mitchell turned 21 this year, but since he has uncontrolled epilepsy, he knew that he wouldn't be able to do the things that most 21-year-olds do. So he created a list of 21 things that he wanted to accomplish before he turns 22. He calls it his "21 list". Robert is intentional. Robert wants to a live life to the fullest and he's doing it at 21. How's that for inspiring?

Read about his date with 21 girls - WOW!
www.tiny.cc/datewith21girls

Whatever your age, whenever your birthday - I dare you to celebrate life. What do you want to do this year to celebrate YOU? What will you do this week to celebrate your life? What's the one thing you've been wanting to do? Make plans to do it. Make it your goal to make it happen. Take one step closer. Just celebrate YOU.

Celebrating,
The other Cindy Mitchell =) (aka Cindy Steele)

Have you ever had that "less than" feeling?

I love to talk and write about the power of girlfriends.  We have so much to give and receive from each other.  You've heard me say, "Girlfriends rock".  

Yet, there's a power our girlfriends hold that at times may have a negative impact upon us.  It's something that we don't talk about often and on some level it's a factor that's been added to the mix by our culture.   

A vital step in our growth process is the healing that comes along the way.  In growth, we we get to be honest with ourselves.  So today, I want to touch upon something I think we can all relate to - something that if we're honest, we've all been there and done that.  I speak from experience.

SOMETIMES women compare and compete with each other.  I'm sure we could agree that comparing and competing leaves us with feelings of angst.  We feel like the odd girl out.  We don't fit in.  We feel less than and lacking (just plain inadequate)...I'm not pretty enough.  Smart enough.  Confident enough.  Old enough.  Young enough.  Skinny enough.  Bold enough.  Spiritual enough.  Out-going enough.   Friendly enough.  I don't have enough money.  I don't have the right clothes.  I don't have this...I don't have that.  She's got a boyfriend...I don't.  She's got a husband and kids, how come I don't?  She's single, foot-loose and fancy-free...I'm not.  You've got the idea.

I realize that's a bit extreme and maybe even exaggerated but I need to make my point.  I need to call the darkness into the light.  It's the darkness that lives deep within the crevices of our hearts.  It was put there way back when.  If it didn't happen on the jungle gym in preschool or the playgrounds of elementary school, then it definitely got planted there in the hallways of middle school.  It's yuck.  It's what each of us as women carry around with us, some own a little of that darkness, others have stock in it.  Most of us thought we threw away the combination to the locker that holds this ugliness in jr. high.  

I think each of us still carries it with us to varying degrees.  Some of us, "let" it out in large crowds of women, others might notice it amongst best friends.  All I know is it's time to talk about it.  It's time to admit it, renounce it, release it and be healed.  It's time to support each other and help each other live in the truth.   With all the self-work I've done,  I would have thought that this part of me got healed.  Yet, upon careful examination,  I've realized that these wounds that have their root in my neighborhood of girlfriends growing up are still there and show their "less than" head in certain situations amongst women.  I must gratefully say that I have an incredible group of girlfriends that reinforce the truth that I am a treasure and I have something to give.  But yet, I've noticed every so often I sense that "less than" feeling.  I don't like it.  It goes against who I am and what I value.  Yet, it's there.  So I'm calling it into the light.  I dare you to join me in calling out this feeling within us. 

It's something we all do.  Let's dare to begin a journey as women united together to stamp out this thing we'll call "less than".  I use to be the director of a transitional house of women in recovery from substance abuse and homelessness.  Most of you have heard that the first step to recovery is to admit that we are powerless over the problem.  Take this week and become aware.  Dare to admit we have a problem.  Choose to talk about it with safe girlfriends or just take note of if and when you feel this way.  

If you want to join my new cause (stamping out feelings of less than), email me or if you dare, post this to facebook (there's a button below).   Let me know what you think.  I love receiving feedback.  I'd love to hear from you and join forces - who knows where this cause will take us.  It's not something we can heal overnight.  I will continue to speak about the incredible value of girlfriends and you can bet at my next workshop, I'll be addressing this topic.

Learning to live in the light,
Cindy

This summer I...

If you know me, you know I'm all about the learning curve - well, actually all about the learning - we could send the steep curve packing as far as I'm concerned.

Growing is vital.  It keeps us alive, literally and figuratively.  Once again, I was on facebook - NO I'm not on it ALL the time - and read a really great status update.  Mi amiga, Allyson, wrote this:

Ok, here's SOME of what I learned this summer: Bright orange vans are great fun, even when no longer so bright. Prayer on a soccer field before Bible school can lead to cool things.  If you jump out of a van in motion you are likely to face plant. (thanks, Tim, for that one.)  I might have a Quaker soul. I should not laugh very much or very hard with ANYTHING in my bladder. I know a lot of brave hearts.

Allyson and Brent are warm and welcoming people.  They run a missions camp in Ensenada, Mexico.  Allyson is the kinda friend I don't get to see often enough but every time we are together we laugh out loud (note her note on what she's learned this summer), we cry (mostly from laughing so hard), and we share from the deep wells of our hearts.  She is one of my most FUN friends. 

I love that she took the time to notice what she learned this summer.  She took the time to mark it down, to set a stake in the ground and then she shared it, "I learned this..."  She is intentional about growing.  She desires it.  I love that lady!

Then, the inevitable came as I read her status, "Oh, what did I learn this summer?  Hmm...I'm thinking I did some learning of my own.  I need to take note, so it gets properly catalogued in my brain and more importantly in my heart."  

I dare you to take some time this week to contemplate what you've learned this summer.  Seasons are a good time to recount, to take note and mark it down.  Be honest with yourself.  I dare you to share it with others.  If you're on fb, I dare you to post what you learned this summer to your status update.  If you're at a party or small gathering this weekend, I dare you to ask the question.  Be prepared with an answer of your own =)   I'm sure it will stimulate conversation and get people to pondering.

Check out my status update later today to find out what I learned or just email me - I'll send you my list.

Still learning,
Cindy

What are you asking for?

So, Maxine is at it again. She's a bit edgy and some might say a lil' bit cranky but oh does she make me laugh in that silly place. Thanks Dawn for sending me her living will =)






Maxine's Living Will

"I, Maxine, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of politicians who couldn't pass ninth grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

glass of wine, chocolate, margarita, sex, martini, cold beer, chocolate, french fries, pizza, chocolate, sex, ice cream, cup of tea, chocolate, chocolate, sex, chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate.

It should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, let the 'fat lady sing,' and call it a day!"

So, it's time to tell the truth. What are you asking for? What's on your list of the must haves in this life? I think this list might be tell-tale of what's really important to us. I dare you to think beyond chocolate and wine (I can't believe I just said that =).

I'm thinking about what's on my list as I send this out. There are some definite must haves - and then there are some things that I wish were on the must have list instead of the must do list (like my workout - that's a must do that I would like to have in my heart as a must have). Take 15 minutes this week and write out your must have's list. I dare you to be honest and tell the truth.

Livin' life,
Cindy

No more second helpings, please!

The other day this facebook status stopped me in my tracks.  It definitely struck a note.  I immediately commented, "WHO wrote this quote?".  My friend, Ashey Smith, told me it was more of a "note to self" but she decided to share it with her facebook world.  I'm so glad she did - because now I get to share it with you.

"Don't spend one more second feeding your doubts, fears and insecurities. Spend that precious and valuable energy living your purpose with uninhibited passion"

That elicits an "OH MY" from me.  How much time do I waste feeding my doubts, fear and insecurities?  I've done a bunch of healing in this realm but more recently, I've noticed that since I'm living in this new and exciting frontier of speaking engagements and writing a book, I'm spending more time at this not so nourishing feeding trough.   

My "note to self" that I dare to share with you:

Doubts, fears, and insecurities are normal.  Let's recognize them for what they are.  Let's be aware of them.  But as soon as you notice your feeding from that trough - redirect yourself.  It's time to feed from the truth.  It's time to be nourished in the thoughts that I am a treasure.  God is my teacher.  I am learning.  I am stepping out in faith.  I am trusting myself and those who have been placed in my path.  I am living out my purpose with uninhibited passion.

I share this with you from my heart, not to receive reassurance but to receive community.  I believe that when we are honest and true with each other in the good, the bad and the ugly - a good work takes place and we are known more fully amongst each other.  

I dare you to feed from the trough of goodness and truth.  Put your doubts on a diet today.  Live out your life with uninhibited passion - woohoo!

Truthfully yours,
Cindy

R U working together?

Teamwork: Simply stated, it is less me and more we.  Author Unknown  

I dare you to take 6 minutes (it will be worth it) and watch this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjbpwlqp5Qw

What's been on your to-do list FORseeminglyEVER?  How could you elicit some help from your "team" to make it happen?  If you need some help getting your creative juices flowing, let me know.  "We" is a great resource.  I dare you to use it.

Join me in thinking outside the box,
Cindy

P.S.  I love the rain!

Live Free or Die

"Live Free or Die" is New Hampshire's state motto.  I used to live there a long time ago and embraced this motto as my own.  Indeed,  when I turned 40, I declared my forties, my decade of freedom.  So far, I'm living up to it.  My heart longs for each of us to experience freedom - freedom to give, freedom to receive, freedom to be ourselves, freedom to live, freedom to thrive, freedom from fears, freedom to create, financial freedom...the list goes on.  

Patrick Henry (one of our country's forefathers) spoke these famed words on March 23, 1775 to the House of Burgesses (the legislative body of the Virginia colony),  "Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!"

Have you heard about a girl named Neda this week?  Her name means "voice" in Farsi.  She was a student heartlessly killed by a sniper on a rooftop in Tehran this past Saturday.  So sad, so tragic.  She had just come from singing lessons - something women in Iran are prohibited from doing in public.  This week, she has become the voice of freedom for those who suffer oppression throughout the world.  Social media has memorialized her:
http://tiny.cc/voiceoffreedom

I dare us to choose to live free as we remember all of those who have gone before us in the name of freedom.   I dare us to release the ties that bind us - that keep us from moving forward.  What's one step you can take this week toward realizing your own freedom?  What thoughts ruminate around in your head that keep you bound?  Is it time to replace those lies with the truth?  The truth will set you free.

I thank Neda for her courage.  I pray for her family and country as they mourn and fight for the freedoms we take for granted every day. 

Striving to live free,
Cindy

My Very Own "Oops"

I was working on a very fun project yesterday on the computer (our Less Drama Girlfriends slideshow) and I hit the wrong button unknowingly and did it probably more than once.  I lost over 3 hours of work.  Ugh - not so fun - so maddening! 

I must admit that I hate when I make mistakes like that.  Actually, I'm not a big fan of making mistakes at all but I know it's part of life.  I should go back and read that archived Truth or Dare on the perfect girl.  For those of you who need to join me in reading it again (and for those who just joined us):

http://tiny.cc/perfectgirl

I should be more grace-filled with myself when mistakes happen.  I speak about the importance of growing and that making mistakes is part of that process all the time.  I must be a slow learner =)  So for my sake, please indulge my contemplations on making mistakes:

1)  If I make a mistake, it means I'm moving forward.
2) If I make a mistake, it means I'm taking risks.
3) If I make a mistake and I learn from it, it means I'm on the right path.
4) If I make a mistake, it means I'm human.

Carol Dweck, a researcher at Stanford (that means she's smart) says this:

"People who believe in the power of talent tend not to fulfill their potential because they're so concerned with looking smart and not making mistakes. But people who believe that talent can be developed are the ones who really push, stretch, confront their own mistakes and learn from them."

I have some of my very own "oops" stories to share with you some day soon but I've run out of time for today.  For now, I'll just remind myself that I'm all about growing.

I dare you to be shower yourself with grace the next time you make an "oops"!

Moving Forward,
Cindy

Simply Said

Yesterday, I was facilitating a group coaching call.  It was a homework group for a coaching class on the process of creating a 5 year vision for yourself.  My job was to ask lots of questions, similar actually to the questions I ask you all regularly: 

What gives you life?  How do you define the "simple life" for yourself?  On a scale, from 1 to 10, if your relationships were at a 10, what would that look like for you? 

Each of us was giving sincere answers to the questions.  Then, one of the "students" on the call shared a personal story with us that gripped our hearts.  All of sudden, we had been transported to what I like to call "holy ground".  We had entered a sacred place.  We each felt honored to be present.  Although, none of us knew each other well, you could say we were colleagues but really we were mere acquaintances, until that moment when we experienced a true connection and became bonded.  

You ask what brought us to that sacred place?  I believe it was the willingness of that one participant.  She was willing to be present.  She was authentic.  She chose well with whom she confided.  She seized the moment.  

I encourage you to be present in the small gatherings of life.  I dare you to engage in authentic ways.  Choose well those whom you share yourself with...but do choose to share yourself!  I know it takes courage to put yourself out there - but the reward is there for the taking.  I dare you to seize the moment!

Seizing moments,
Cindy

Who's Standing by YOU?

I'm feel like sharing something light and fun today.  NPR shared this great story back on May 4th - I hope it inspires you.   I love serendipitous moments like the one producer Mark Johnson had one day in Santa Monica.  Read the story from NPR below.  Then take 5 minutes and watch the youtube video.  It's good stuff!

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=103715874  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Us-TVg40ExM

It's time to tell the truth: 
Who stands by you?  Who do you stand by?

Standing Strong and Standing by YOU,
Cindy

Who's In Your Court?

I was having lunch with my friend Suzi (www.suziqcosmetics.com) yesterday and we got to talking about the power of girlfriends - imagine that.  Girlfriends just seem to meet needs that no one else can meet for us.  Girlfriends just get us!  As many of you know, I've been blessed with an abundance of steadfast, beautiful, strong-hearted girlfriends along my journey.  I hope some of you happen to be reading this right now.

The Power of Girlfriends is one of the 5 gems that will stand as a foundation for my book.  I believe that if we are going to make significant, positive changes in our lives and the lives of others, we need to be intentional.  We need to be intentional about who we spend time with and who we invest in as girlfriends.  I think it's vitally important for us to have these ladies in our court - at least one of each - especially, if we want to become queens of less drama.

Your"Queen Mama" goes before you.  She's "been there and done that".  She's in the next season of life.  She listens to you with all her heart.  She holds you up when you feel like falling.  She celebrates you when you succeed.  She believes in you  when you don't believe in yourself.  She helps you see your mistakes gently (firmly when needed) and she helps you learn from them.  She holds you accountable.  She highlights your strengths and forgives you your weaknesses.  She points to the truth (even when it hurts).  She provides wisdom when you ask for it.  She shares her journey with you.  She gives you perspective.  She reminds you "this too shall pass".  

Thank you to Vickie, Miss Virginia, Joanne, Debby and Donna for being the Queen Mamas in my life.

Your"Lady-In-Waiting" is a noble companion.  That's what they were called in Queen Elizabeth's time.  I love my noble companions - Ashley, Lara, Lauri, Kerstin and Kate.  Our lady-in-waiting is in the "same boat we are in".  We listen to each other.  We can carry on parallel conversations at the same time and not miss a beat.  We keep up with each other.  We learn from each other.  We cry with each other and oh do we laugh (belly laughs) with each other.  We celebrate each other.  We have fun together.  We listen to each other's rants.  We talk each other down off the ledge.  We know each other inside and out AND STILL love each other.  

Your "Princess" comes along behind you.  She asks you for help.  She lets you hold her tight.  She challenges you.  You GET to love her well.  You get to celebrate her.  She inspires you.  She teaches you that you really do have something to give.  She helps you to keep it real and she knows you've got your own shortcomings.  She looks up to you.  She trusts you.   She gets to learn from your mistakes (lucky her).  She laughs with you.  She reminds you that you're not crazy and you get to do the same for her.  

Julie, Wynter, Alisha, Allison, Amy and Laura - thank you for letting me be your "Queen Mama"!

Do you have a Queen Mama, a Lady-In-Waiting and a Princess in your court?  Who are they?  Do they mean the world to you?  Do you need a Queen Mama, a Lady-In-Waiting or a Princess?  Think about the women that have been placed in your life.  Could you cultivate one of these friendships?  If you're in need, be on the look-out.  Be intentional.  See who comes along your way that might just fit the bill.    

The beauty in these friendships is that they reinforce one of the values that I hold dear - the value of reciprocity - they allow us to give and receive.  Yay for girlfriends!

Yay for you,
Cindy

Move over "perfect girl"!

Have you encountered your inner perfect girl lately?  Is she getting in the way of your success?  I'm wondering if "perfect girl" is a case of nature vs. nurture.  Were we born with her or is she just one of those "friends" we've brought along with us from the "old neighborhood"?

I want you to read this blog entry from Back In Skinny Jeans.  I think it speaks to us all:

http://www.backinskinnyjeans.com/2009/04/best-of-bisj-8-ways-perfect-girl-can-hold-you-back.html

Where do you need to tell "perfect girl" to get out of your way?  I dare you to tell her to move over or move out today.  Who is your true self?

I dare you to take 15 minutes sometime this week (preferably in the next day or two) to write a paragraph on your true self.  Describe who you are today...Who are you becoming? What are you about? What do you value?  What do you want to accomplish? What's important to you?  15 minutes - that's all you need.  Take the first 5 minutes to settle in quietly and then reacquaint your self to your TRUE self.

Self meet True Self.

Cindy

  

I can't decide!

Do you ever get overwhelmed by all the decisions you have to make?  Would you be willing to let total strangers make some of those decisions for you? 

Please read this fun article.  It will be a pleasurable diversion from all those decisions that are waiting/weighting upon you?

http://www.theweek.com/article/index/92141/The_last_word_Im_no_decider

This is quite the dare.  Would you be daring enough to try this "random act of indecision" social experiment?  I'm not sure I'm am, but, with enough of you on board I might be swayed.  We could pick a date to let others make our decisions - it might be kind of fun.  Let me know what you think.

Looking Forward,

Cindy

P.S.  I would never have trouble picking out a dozen donuts.  I know exactly what I would get.  I can envision it now - Krispy Kreme, here I come.  Just kidding - I don't even know where the closest Krispy Kreme is (boohoo).

She dreamed a dream!

Susan Boyle is everywhere I go this week.  I found her on twitter.  She's nearly 48.  She lives with her cat.  She's never been kissed.  She's  from a small "collection of villages".  She has dreamed a dream...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

What a welcomed surprise!  I "met" Susan earlier this week on twitter (thank you Perry -http://twitter.com/perrybelcher).  Some of you might have already met her.  For those of you who haven't had the pleasure, I just had to introduce you.  Brad said I should wait until next week (one truth or dare a week, right?).  I couldn't wait any longer when I saw her on CNN this evening.  She's glorious.  So unassuming...so in your face in such a gentle way.  Unexpectedly, she "screams" GO FOR IT. She makes my heart sing.

She reminds me not to judge a book by it's cover.  My dare for you:  Look underneath your "cover" to see what hidden gems are living deep within just waiting to be shared with others.  For those who dare - Step out and share that gem just like Susan - it's never too late!

Be changed in these moments.  Dream your dream.  Make it happen!

Cindy

p.s. Want some more inspiration?  Over 24,000,000 peeps have viewed her dream onwww.youtube.com.  4,000,000 while I was typing this Truth or Dare.  WOW!

p.s.s.  For more about Susan and her dream, please check out CNN.com.  She's a headliner tonight. 

http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/TV/04/16/susan.boyle.simon.cowell/index.html

Yet Another Interruption

I've been thinking about the gems that I'm writing about in my book that I hope to finish this summer.  Right now, I'm committing to you all to have it done by Labor Day.  I'm playing around with the title - "Contemplations of a Less Drama Queen",   "How to Increase Your Less Drama Factor", "Profile of a Less Drama Queen", "Little Gems to Live By...The Life of a Less Drama Queen", "Less Drama, More Freedom"...the list goes on!

My book is about the journey.  It is centered on 5 life gems - communication, boundaries, growing, the power of girlfriends, and living the important life.  I've been sharing some of my thoughts and insights along the way in this weekly truth or dare.  

So today's installment touches on the topic of boundaries.  Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me.  They help us let the good in and keep the bad out.  A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership.

Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility for gives me freedom. If I know where my "yard" begins and ends, I am free to do with it what I like. Taking responsibility for my life opens up many different options.

So - with that said about boundaries - I read this statistic this morning in the magazine, PINK,  "Interruptions consume 28 percent of the average workday."  Source - Basex.

Interruptions are sometimes welcomed.  Interruptions and distractions are sometimes needed but sometimes they keep us from being effective and getting what we really want.

I dare you to tell the truth:
Where do you need to set up a fence, door, gate, wall to keep the interruptions at bay?  
What can you devote 2 hours of un-interrupted time to in the next week?  Where do you want to curb your interruptions?  Where can you eliminate interruptions?

All good questions to ponder - especially when you are trying to write a book =)

What will you do with the next 525,600 minutes?

I might be a bit manic today.  Can I tell you how much I love the song Seasons of Love from the musical RENT?  I LOVE it!  I just happened to hear the other day when I was finishing up my speaking gig with Women with Visions Unlimited (www.wwvu.org).  

As I was perusing youtube (I don't really have that much time on my hands - I love distractions), I found it.  

So many truth or dares to be had in just one song.  It's amazing (kinda scary) to me how one's mind can hold onto so many different thoughts at one time.  Ok...let's get on to the more important stuff.  Please take time to listen to this video (type in Seasons of Love in the youtube window) - REALLY listen to the words.  Let them soak in...

What words stood out to you?  What thoughts ran through your mind?  What truth needs to be told?  What dares need to be dared?

Today's Truth or Dare is a do-it-yourself.  Do one of your own or choose from one that came to my mind:

What will you do with the next 1440 minutes?

How do you measure your worth?

Take time to watch the sunset some time this week.

How often do you laugh?  Do you need to laugh more?

When you wake up tomorrow ask yourself this question : "What do I want to get done before the sun sets today?"

How would I live my life differently - if I measured it in love?

Are there any bridges that need mending?

How will you measure your life?

How will you remember this coming year in the lives of your friends?

How can you celebrate today?

How do you measure time?  How do you WANT to measure time?

Is it time to celebrate?

Which ever truth or dare you choose - Make it relevant.  Be truthful.  Be daring.  

Measuring my life,

Cindy

Not-so-Random Act of Kindness

So today, I was working with one of my coaching clients.  We were talking about her strengths and how she could use one of her strengths to get something done that's important to her (although, she never seems to find the time to get it done).  One of her strengths is kindness and generosity.  She is always busy taking care of others and being oh-so-kind and overly generous with her time to others.  So, I turned the tables a bit on her and and challenged her with this question: 

How can you be kind and generous with yourself in regards to getting this done? "Hmmm...", she said.

It got me to thinking "How can I be kind and generous to myself this week?  What random act of kindness do I need to shower upon myself?" and as that pondering always goes - I thought of you all - my truth or dare gals.

So here's the truth and the dare:  

Ask yourself what not-so-random act of kindness will you shower upon yourself this week?  Do it!  Email me when you've done it.

Kindly,

Cindy

Girlfriends are the best...

Best girlfriends are not easy to come by - they take time and investment of our energy.  We must search them out.  We must be open and vulnerable.  We must take the time to invest in each other.  We must listen.  We must be available.  One thing I've learned in the life (and I think you'd all agree with me) - they are worth it all!

They support us.  They challenge us.  They hold our secrets.  They inspire us to be the best we can be.  They trust us.  They know us (inside and out).  They extend grace (most of the time).  They remind us we are sane (for the most part).  They remind us of who we are (a treasure) and who we want to become.  They give us hope.  There is nothing better than being able to just be yourself in their presence.  They are our comfort zone.

I've recently moved and miss having my girlfriends close in proximity.  I miss the good girl time face-to-face.  I've been on the search for a girlfriend or two in my new community.  I know it will be worth the investment - but to tell the truth, I admit it takes energy that some days I don't think I have within me.  Thank goodness, most of my girlfriends are just a phone call away.  When I need some good girl time - I pick up the phone with a glass of wine in hand - it's a bit of a virtual experience but it's good and it's always good for my soul to reconnect and have that heart-to-heart.  Just writing about those moments brings comfort in a world of new experiences.

I want to encourage you today - whether you have great girl time right in your own hood or if you're like me - it's a phone call away - MAKE TIME FOR GOOD GIRL TIME - we all need it.  I believe girlfriends help sustain us.  If you want some tips on how to build new friendships please be sure to email me, cindy@lessdrama.com.  I'm thinking I've got some expertise in this area - I've made 5 significant moves in my adult life (from NH to FL to GA to CA).  I also think I've got the best girlfriends in all the world (I might be a bit bias).

Please take 3 minutes and watch this youtube video.  I want you to meet these "wise women" who get what it means to be a best friend - Bella and Tara know this instinctively.  Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFz-FMj-9Ps

Looking for some new girlfriends in the valley,

Cindy